he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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