you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
foreskin is a definite game changer
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
