My room smells like vodka and shame
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
