is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
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Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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