considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
