I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize