if i can run in heels then i can drive
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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