I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
