i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
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He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
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do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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