i think my mom watched the whole time
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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