All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
