You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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