I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize