Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
