ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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