I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
