i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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