She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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