quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
