D3 body, D1 cock
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
