Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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