my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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