Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She even gives head with a lisp.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
