I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
