I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
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He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
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My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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