My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize