I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
