a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
