had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
