You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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