why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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