Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
