Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize