Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
