we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
