I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
