What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
