I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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