i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
