he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
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Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
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seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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