Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Sober January is a disaster.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
