I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
