Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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