I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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