i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
