Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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