Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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