I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
