Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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