I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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