I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
