Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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