haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
