Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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