Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
