nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
