it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
