Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
