I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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