nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
