I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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