you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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